How do I cope with physical and mental abuse?

About a month ago, my dad physically aulted me, He put me in a choke hold and the only way I could escape was to bite him, I did. I tried to break away again but he pulled the back of my shirt, and I almost fell down the stairs. Anyway, the police were called and he was taken down to jail. The next day, he was very angry that he went to jail and e-mailed me saying all sorts of things like I attacked him first, (which I didn't) and all sorts of other untrue things. I am now living with my mom, an although I'm happy living with her, I'm going through a lot of pain, both physical and emotional. After the attack, I found all sorts of bruises on my body, and I could barely walk without falling down. That eventually went away after a week or so, but the emotional pain is still very much in me, and I haven't had break since the attack. I mean, I've had to hire an attorney, I had to go to court and file all sorts of papers, basically, it's been a living hell this past month, and it's really getting to me. Now I'm being told that my dad wants to reconcile with me and try to work things out But the problem is, I don't think I could ever forgive him for what he did to me and all of the pain he caused me. Plus, the court ordered no contact, and I have a five year injunction against him so even if I could reconcile with him, I can't contact him and he can't contact me. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, how am I going to get through all of this? On the one hand, he hurt me badly, but on the other, he is my dad, and I still love him. Right now, I'm between a rock and a hard place and don't know what to do. If anybody could give me any tips, I would really appreciate that.